Oh my. I just don't know what has gotten into me today. I have a total case of the blahs. I am still focused on losing weight and I am still in control, but I guess I have focused too much on the big picture because I am feeling overwhelmed. I did some math and realized that it will take over 100 weeks to reach my goal. That date came to April 21, 2013. Then I did some more math and realized that it will take a full year just for me to break the 200 pound barrier. That means that for the next year, hardly anyone will even notice that I am losing weight. I think the really sad part was that I did some more math and discovered that I won't relose last years' weight loss for another three to four months. That is into the next school year! It is really frustrating to think that I am heavier than I was a year ago and that it will take four months to change that, ouch.
I am sure there are other factors kicking into my attitude as well. Today is the last day of school for my girls. I am stressed about keeping their minds challenged this summer. This month at work, I have many urgent deadlines. All I want to do is procrastinate, but I have simply run out of time to do that anymore. I feel tired and sleepy, but I don't think it's authentic, but rather another form of procrastination. In college, whenever a test was coming up, all I could do was sleep rather than study. It's a miracle that I still managed to finish up with a degree in engineering.
OK. That's enough venting for now. Soon, I should be able to post some successes. Hopefully, they will be enough to float me through this first rough patch.
Isn't it just so frustrating? I totally get it. Two things come to mind. One, well...yes, it is slow but slow and steady wins the race and at least it can happen if you are working toward it. I mean losing it in 2 years beats staying the same or gaining right? I often map it all out like it sounds like you are doing and ugh. Months later I will find my mapped out plan and realize I didnt bother to make any progress at all! Would be better to be able to see come 2013 that you made it. Hard not to focus on the here and now though. I know. Also, I have weeks and months where I am more motivated and able to do it than others. Maybe There will be times when you can step things up and knock out a quick 10 or so here and there and then get back to slow and steady. Those kind of times really keep me going. Anyhow, thinking of you and hoping you can stick to it and meet your goals. OR...and not sure I should say this, but OR...hoping you can get happy with wherever you are or wherever you can reasonably get to. I just hate to think of all us weight loser peeps fretting over this for our whole lives. There is more to us than what we weigh afterall. Hugs your way and hoping your funk lifts soon.
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