A Small Bump

Last night I blew it. I had a modest brunch and started off good. I was hungry around 2 PM and gave in this time. I ate about 300 calories worth of popcorn, not really a big deal. It would still be possible to have a good day. For dinner, I had left over soup, very tasty and satisfying, yet the urge for something salty was haunting me. I at a few chips, probably less than 150 calories worth. Then I at some pretzels, probably another 150 calories. If I would have stopped here, the day wouldn't have been a total loss yet. But, then I reverted to some old bad habits. My husband went to bed early and left me alone feeling guilty about eating too much. Once that door is opened, it is hard to close. I then proceeded to eat 6 almond cookies, and I don't know how many calories that is, but it is waaaay too many. After finally halting my eating, I began to worry if I could get back on track the next day.

This example has reinforced something I have recently learned about myself. I have spent the last 10 years trying to follow the experts' recommendations. Rather than dieting per se, I tried to just reduce portions and increase my activity level. I tried to implement a gradual change with a plan to lose the weight slowly over three years (about the same pace I was gaining it). I failed over and over and now I know why.

I need to feel the pain of hunger to remind me and reinforce my efforts. It actually motivates me. One of my goals is to always go to bed hungry. Also, I need to eat as few meals as possible because everytime I start eating, it is a major challenge to stop. The fewer times I start eating, the fewer times I have to stop myself. For me, it is very simple and this is why I don't eat breakfast and why I don't snack. If the pain of hunger does become overwhelming, I do allow myself a V-8 or some carrot sticks, but for the most part, I avoid snacking all together.

I cannot get into this without a plan of how I will maintain once I reach goal. I am resigned to the fact that I will have to count calories forever and weigh regularly. If I gain so much as a pound, I will revert to dieting mode until that pound is gone.

So far, today is going well.