Well Here I Am Again!

I am starting this blog as a personal aide and motivation to remind me why I am on this journey to lose weight. My reasons are vast and will be analyzed in future posts. Mostly, I just don't want to feel like a freak and I want to be able to do fun physical activities with my girls.

I have gone down this road many times before. I have always battled my weight. When I was 10, my mother put me on Weight Watchers. I lost 18 pounds and spent the rest of my childhood in the average to slightly overweight range. If I could have just been 10 pounds lighter! I always felt fat.

After the first year of college, I managed to gain over 30 pounds. I knocked it all off in only 6 weeks of Summer. I managed to maintain for a few years and then it slowly started creeping back again. It would not be until 1998, that I would have my next successful run at weight loss. I lost 92 pounds (but was still about 15 pounds overweight) and stayed there for a couple of years.

No attempts since then have brought the same kind of success. I have lost 25-30 pounds here and there, but it has always come back and brought a few friends with it.

I don't know what is different about this latest attempt, but I feel that renewed motivation inside, like I did back in 1998. It is the driving force that keeps me going and unless it is with me, there is no use in even trying.

My first day of consciously making an effort was January 6th, 2009. I don't think the coincidence with the New Year had anything to do with it, but rather the fact that I returned home from Christmas vacation UP 6 pounds and was by far the largest I have ever been. Oh, that's NOT a good feeling. When the clothes start feeling tight and it's hard to breathe clearly at night, you know taking action is essential. My knees have been hurting lately and I am finally seeing my health suffer, especially these last three years.

One of the first immediate rewards of starting a diet again is that I can once again begin to dream. I can dream about wearing cute clothes. I can dream about long hikes in the mountains with my kids. I can dream about bike rides, fitting on airplane seats, and giving presentations without feeling totally awkward. These are dreams that I usually just tuck away at the back of my mind, not daring to think about.

I am eleven days into this journey and it feels like it's gonna last. Each day is a struggle and I have won every battle so far. I am not going to listen to all the recommended suggestions about weight loss, but rather go back to the old formula that worked for me before, strict caloric intake and NO breakfast (unless it replaces lunch). The rationale behind this approach requires way too much explanation to squeeze into this post, so I'll save it for another time.