I Am Back

I suppose you had probably given up on me by now, or at the very least, figured that I had given up on myself. Fortunately, I never gave up on myself; I just took a long detour and got sidetracked. It all became too overwhelming and I just had to let go of control for awhile. The results weren't pretty. I managed to gain back all but 6 pounds of my 38 pound weight loss. The good news is, I think I am turning it around before getting all the way back to my starting point.

I have found a new source of motivation and I hope that it will be enough to spark a chain of actions that builds the momentum I will need to see this all the way through to my goal and longterm maintenance.

I am not absolutely positive that this is the final push. But, I do have confidence in myself and in the moment. I constantly analyze my actions and the results. I am well aware of the consequences to those actions. I don't think I have been burying my head in the ground or living in a state of denial. I know what I am doing wrong (yet I continue to do it anyway).

So now with a new goal ahead to tempt me with a new motiviation (which I'll get to later), I am ready to consciously take control again, one bit at a time. I have developed a new strategy, since clearly those that went before failed. Until now I have avoided this approach because common opinion would discourage it. But! When I look back at what my personal issues are regarding food (at least for the present), then I must deal with those issues before I can achieve success.

Therefore, I have developed my own personal diet plan, unique to myself, and unique to right now. I may change it in the future if either it stops working or if I can gain greater control. I am five days into this new way of eating and I have to say that it is the easiest approach for me personally. My desired pace of weight loss is small, only 4 pounds a month. I am not going to hover over the scale and cling to every pound. I have three years to do this and I plan on taking it slowly.

So just what am I doing differently? I am going against the conventional wisdom that the best way to lose the weight is to eat lots of small healthy meals throughout the day. I've tried it...over and over. If my mindset is in total control, it works. But if it isn't, it's disastrous. I am going to do the opposite. I know. I can hear you cringing. I am going to fast or diet for half of all my waking hours. During that time, I will eat almost nothing. During the other half of the day, I will eat whatever I want AND as much as I want. That doesn't mean I am going to splurge on a double cheeseburger, large fries and a shake. But it does mean that I am not going to fret over the calories or portion size. I will still make efforts to see that the food is nutritious, balanced and healthy. I will avoid deep-fried items and try to fit in my veggies and fruits. But other than that, the sky is the limit! My most difficult temptations occur EVERY SINGLE time I sit down to eat. If I eat 5 times a day, I am tempted 5 times a day. I have to stop myself from eating 5 times a day. I can never eat enough to really be full, just enough to not be physically hungry. Between meals isn't a problem for me.

So if I only allow myself to eat during half the day, say from 11 AM to 7 PM, then I will probably only be able to fit two meals into that window, lunch and dinner. During that time all the rules are gone (within reason). I eat until I am full. Even if I eat two really big meals, say 1000 calories each (or even a 1500 cal lunch and a 500 cal dinner), I am still going to lose weight at the end of the day. At any other time, I do NOT allow myself to eat anything. It's really pretty easy because I never have to say "This is going to last forever". At any time, I only have to "diet" for a few hours (say from 7 AM to 11 AM), not a month or a year or a lifetime, just a few hours. That concept is so easy for my mind to grasp. I can definitely maintain my control for just a few hours, no matter how hungry I am. Every day is a new experience. I don't have to look forward to months or years of dieting, only a few hours. Four or five hours on and eight hours off. I love the idea of a diet that only has to last for five hours. It may be every day, but it's only five hours! I may call it the five hour diet, or the 50-50 diet. Half of all my waking hours, I can eat whatever I want! Then just for a few hours at a time, I will control myself strictly. I no longer have to resist temptation.

But what if I am invited out for breakfast? Well, then I will just shift my 5-hour dieting window to from 6-11 AM to 10 AM-3 PM. I can still keep the evening window the same, 7 PM - 11 PM. I will have to be extra careful on these days, as this can upset my whole balance of control.

I know this may sound insane, especially in comparison to conventional wisdom. I also know this approach won't work for someone who only has a few pounds to lose because you can still end up eating too many calories during the non-diet window. But for someone who has as much to lose as I do, just eliminating a morning meal and a bedtime snack, will truly make a difference. That's really the only change I am making. I realize that the morning meal is considered the "most important meal of the day", but for me it is consistently the trigger that keeps me munching uncontrollably. I have tried it both ways for years and I can clearly see a difference in my life. For me, breakfast is disaster, plain and simple.